“It can’t always be me. He’s got to make it okay for himself. He’s got to learn to fight through and fix it.”

A father said this to me as we wrapped up a one-hour consultation about his 11-year-old son this past Friday.

As a father myself, I know how hard it is to “take our hands off the wheel.”

We want to fix things for our kids — because we’ve been there. We have the experience. The wisdom. The answers.

But fixing things for them?

That’s not generally a long-term solution.

And the hardest part?

Waiting.

Watching them struggle while we sit on our hands. Wondering if they’ll figure it out. Hoping they do — but aching because we could step in… and don’t.

When parents reach out to me, it’s usually because they’ve exhausted every tool they have in their toolbox.

They’re not giving up.

They’re just ready for a different kind of help.

This boy’s father asked me two big questions:

“Can you help our son develop the mental and emotional tools to not care what others think of him?”

And more importantly:

“Can you help our son be happy and be himself again?”

I said:

Yes. I can help.

“So what’s your plan?” the dad asked me directly.

Short-term, I’ll help his son build awareness — of what he can and can’t control in the moment. We’ll identify challenges upfront and build mental scripts to respond, not react.

Long-term, we’ll work on developing new thinking habits. The kind that lead to consistent confidence and true resilience.

Could I guarantee them it’ll work?

Nope.

But, I also told them this:

Based on my 40-minute conversation with their son the week before, I do believe he’s ready. He wants to grow. He wants to feel better.

I’ll do everything in my power to help him — and help them.

One of my clients — a mom — once told me:

“I’m only as happy as my saddest kid."

If you’re a parent, you get that.

When your kid’s unhappy, you’re unhappy.

It hurts.

It keeps you up at night.

It sends you searching for answers.

And it’s not always easy to ask for help — especially as a parent.

Especially as a father.

That’s why I consider it such a privilege when dads — strong, smart, committed dads — reach out to me.

This father wanted to find out if I was the right person to help his son on Friday. To help his family.

For an hour, I listened.

I made sure he knew I understood.

And I explained exactly how I’d help his son feel more confident, more free, more himself again.

I guess it resonated.

Our first session is scheduled for tomorrow.

Now it’s my job to follow through — for the boy. For his mom.

But, especially, for his dad.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads reading this.

It’s okay for us to ask for help.